Alyssa and Ben may be one of the bravest couples that we know. When they originally started planning their wedding it was going to be here in Kansas City, on the Plaza, with at least 1 band, 300-350 people in attendance, mismatched sequined bridesmaid gowns, and lots of attention placed on making their guests happy and entertaining them. Fast-forward to about a year before their wedding day, and we received a very emotional email from them letting us know that they were cancelling their wedding. The reason? The wedding day and everything going into it had gotten to be way too big, and they both felt that everything was starting to be more about the day itself than their actual marriage. When we read their email we had very mixed emotions. We were so sad that we weren’t going to get the chance to work with them because these two are probably the sweetest, most generous and kind-hearted people we have ever met. We were also happy and applauded them at the same time because they had realized that everyone was putting the emphasis on the wedding day itself, and not on their actual marriage. Those of you that have planned a wedding or are planning a wedding may have felt the same thing throughout your planning process and may know what they are going through. Despite popular opinions from both of their families and friends, they canceled their wedding day because it ended up being what was best for them. To be completely honest with you I’m not sure that I would have the guts to completely cancel anything, and to this day we still applaud them for doing what was best for their relationship.
6 months later, at the beginning of November, we received another heartfelt email from Alyssa and Ben that tugged at our heartstrings even more than the first. After canceling their big Kansas City wedding they had decided to have an intimate destination wedding in Beaver Creek, Colorado the weekend before Christmas. Despite having already hired a photographer, they weren’t completely comfortable with her or her ideas, and were curious if we had their date available and would be willing to make the trip. Of course we were completely floored that they wanted us to come to Colorado, and were ecstatic for the opportunity to be able to hang out and work with them, and capture their wedding day. So, in mid-December, we road-tripped out to Colorado with all of our gear for their wedding in Beaver Creek. Alyssa and Ben’s wedding day was absolutely gorgeous, and throughout the entire day these two kept mentioning how glad they were they had decided to rethink what they actually wanted their wedding day to be about. We loved that we had the opportunity to do photos with them in the lodge, with their families, and of course in the snow after their ceremony.
We recently spoke with Alyssa and Ben after their wedding day to see if they had any advice for couples still planning their wedding day.
Here’s there advice for future brides and grooms:
- What’s your best advice for a bride? Try and find time to pamper yourself, even during busy times. Ask for help, and remember being a perfectionist doesn’t matter cause your guests don’t notice the super fine details. Think long and hard about who you pick for your bridal party. A true friend will make greater sacrifices for you than you will ever imagine. Write your own vows, no matter how much of a blubbering mess you will be, it’s much more meaningful to have them, especially during your first year of marriage. Use wedding planning as a way to start working on communication techniques between you and your groom. Don’t try and do every DIY project, save some for future parties or vow renewals. Don’t be afraid to lose money on a deposit if you don’t feel right about something. v
- Best advice for a groom? Be supportive. Remember your Bride is under alot of stress. Be patient. Keep sarcasm to a minimum… Use with caution. Ask where you can help out as much as possible. Don’t expect your Bride to do everything. Offer your services for DYI projects. Make sure to write your own vows, don’t be afraid to get emotional, this is your wife after all.
- Your favorite moment from your wedding day?
- Alyssa: Seeing my groom’s face when he first saw me walk down the aisle. It made hiding the dress for all that time worth it.
- Ben: When my bride surprised me by singing to me during her vows.
- Your favorite splurge from your wedding day?
- Alyssa: My dress. I always wanted to feel like Cinderella. Even though I wore it once, it’s captured forever in the photos.
- Ben: having a destination wedding in the mountains.
- What you wish you knew before you started planning? To think long and hard about the type of wedding that both Bride and Groom (no family or friend input) want before any planning begins. The benefit of a wedding coordinator, I wish we would have used one. How quickly wedding planning can eat up your time, be efficient and don’t try and do too much.
We wanted to share Alyssa and Ben’s full wedding planning story with you, not because we ended up with gorgeous photos and a great destination wedding, but because I think what they went through every bride and groom feels a little bit while planning. It’s okay to take a step back and really think about what’s important to you and how you actually want to start your marriage. It’s your marriage, and your wedding day, and it should be what you want.
We still get to do Alyssa and Ben’s engagement and bridal sessions this spring and summer, and can’t wait to shoot with them again and share!
Alyssa & Ben’s Vendors:
Ceremony Location: The Chapel at Beaver Creek
Reception Location: Beaver Creek Lodge
Videographer: K Hodge Films